Welansa loves to sing. Can anyone name the song she is singing?
Okay I know I need to work on positioning the camera correctly.
P.S. The lady with the squeaky voice saying “go bez”, which means good job in Amharic, is me.
My nephew Kyle is gone again. Last year he received a full academic scholarship to one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the country. I am proud of him but I miss him. This summer I learned how to do the stinky leg (the latest dance) and I know the hottest rapper is Drake.
I wonder how Welansa feels now that he is gone? Does she know that he will be coming back? No matter how long they are apart she never forgets him. Every time they re-unite her face lights up and she runs into his arms.
I had no idea how Welansa and Kyle’s relationship would be. During the adoption process he seemed indifferent. He is a teenager who cares about the hottest clothes, the latest dances, and of course girls. Little did I know Welansa would be the first girl to win his heart.
He was the first one to take her out of my arms at the airport. Her 2nd favorite person is Kyle. There have been times when she has preferred Kyle over me. Kyle let’s her do and eat anything she wants. The other day I caught Kyle feeding her potato chips. I was too late with the candy and I hate to admit it gum. Treats that she would not receive from me. Now its mommy I want candy, mommy I want gum, and mommy I want chips.
Kyle has been very helpful with increasing her language skills as well. The other day she walked in the room and said “mommy what’s up”. And even funnier she handed me a piece of paper and I said “thank you”. Her response “no problem”. I guess it could be worse.
I will never forget Kyle’s 1st day at school. We were on our way to the cafeteria and I told him I would push Welansa’s stroller if he wanted me to. I figured he wanted to start collecting “cool points” and pushing his cousins stroller through the middle of the cafeteria would surely put his account in the negative. He told me that he had it and ate his lunch with Welansa on his lap. I realized then that he was probably very nervous and afraid but he found comfort in Welansa.
I am glad their relationship is so close.
Last night as I kissed my girl good night I held her tighter and longer than usual. All the while stating, “life is such a gift”. Although, I know this to be true I often forget and automatically assume that there will always be a tomorrow night. But yesterday night was different because it was the eve of the World Trade Center bombing.
I am sure every person was effected in some way or another. Fortunately for me I arrived early because I had a doctors appointment and needed to leave early. I remember when a co-worker told me a plane had flew into the World Trade Center. I went to the café area to watch the television.
As a watched the TV I realized that in the distance I could actually see the World Trade Center on fire. I could not believe me eyes. So I decided to go to the sundeck area to confirm that what I saw was actually true. As I stood on the sundeck in disbelief I saw what I thought was an airplane for the local TV station accidentally fly into the other building. Little did I know it was no accident nor was it an airplane seeking coverage for the news. It was indeed the 2nd plane going into another building.
One of my co-workers started to hyperventilate because her children attended a school in the area. She had no idea if they were safe or not. Now that I am a parent I can imagine how she felt. My family was frantic and unable to reach me on my cell phone and in my office. The office phone would not work for three months after the tragedy and mass transportation was shut down temporarily.
My job was set up as a one of triage areas for the injured and the sky rink area was to serve as a morgue. However, the triage and sky rink would never be used because there were very little survivors. I realized that the best place for me would be home with my family. I began the 4-hour walk with a co-worker I met 2 weeks ago. This co-worker is now considered my sister and one of my best friends. We always say it was the tragedy of the World Trade Center and the love of Calypso music that brought us together.
As we exited the building I remember seeing hundreds of people walking along the West Side Highway. Each and every person looking like they were in a daze. As we walked home I remember hearing airplanes flying above ducking down in fear. We had no idea if it was another airplane that had come to attack. As we got closer to the Brooklyn Bridge we could really see the devastation that occurred.
Thank God I did not have to walk the entire way home. I was able to get the train after I crossed the bridge. I headed toward the parking lot to pick up my car and found my sister waiting for me. I did not say a word. I broke down in her arms and began to sob. It was the first time I allowed myself to feel my emotions. At the end of the day I had lots of blisters on my feet. But I could not complain. I still had life and I had my family.
I was not prepared to deal with what would happen in the next coming days and months. We did manage to get one working phone in the office. I wish we had no phone service at all because then I would not have to deal with reality.
I started receiving telephone calls from families who had lost loved ones at Ground Zero and so they needed to cancel their membership. All of “those” types of calls were transferred directly to me. My staff did not feel equipped to deal with the calls. As the Director I had no choice, I received a quick lesson in grief counseling.
Business was extremely slow, pay increases were frozen, and one of my staff members (Sam) who was in the Reserves was put on active duty. I am happy to report that Sam is home safe and we have continued to work together for the past 5 years. For me the sacrifices and the effects were inconvenient at times but I refused to complain. I still have life, all of my family and my friends. I was one of the lucky ones. Thousand of people lost mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and friends. I can’t imagine how they felt.
How ironic that I would have a nightmare last night. I had a dream someone came through my back door and took Welansa out of her crib while she was sleeping. When I went to check on here she was gone. I started screaming her name. It felt so real and the feelings so intense. And then I was saved by my alarm clock. It was in fact a dream. I went to her room and there she was. It was just a dream. My child my loved one was there when I woke up this morning. However, it has been a true nightmare for others. When they wake up their child, their loved one is not be there.
So on this day and everyday after I will promise to hold Welansa a little tighter a little longer. To slow down and realize that everyday I see her it is a gift. And the next time that I complain that she talks too much for a two year old I will stop and be grateful that I can hear her voice.
I know I have been a bad blogger lately. I have been really busy with work, caring for Welansa, and a host of other things. The biggest event for us this summer was Ethiopian Cultural Camp, which took place in July in Virginia.
It was great connecting with old friends (Aliza, Samantha) and meeting new friends (Dawn, Dedra, Stephanie, Shawn). Mekdes, who is the owner of Abshiro Kids, organized the camp. I can’t say enough about the program and I am looking forward to attending next year. You can tell Mekdes spent a lot of time and energy organizing the event. She even coordinated a ride for me because I did not feel like driving six hours with a vibrant 2 year old.
One of the biggest questions for most adoptive families is how do we keep our children connected to their culture. The question was asked numerous times during the different seminars. The answer was simple but challenging, teach the children their language. Even if Amharic is not the language used in the area where your child is from. 
I had better get busy learning Amharic. At one time I was committed to learning five words per day. However, other things came up and I have not been that dedicated. It’s time for me to get focused again.
Sunday morning while eating pancakes with Welansa (remember pancakes are reserved for the weekends) a tall and handsome man opened my door and entered my apartment. At first I was startled and with no contacts lenses it took me a few seconds to determine who this guy was. No it was not Idris Elba although he is part Ghanaian like Idris. It was my brother John. My brother along with his wife and 3 of their 5 boys drove from the ATL to spend the week in New York. Excited is not the word. I love to see Welansa playing with her cousins. She is my mom’s youngest and only granddaughter. She has six cousins and all of them are BOYS. They love her dearly. 
Welansa was meant to be in this family. She is loud, aggressive, and strong. Just the way I like it. She does not let her cousins take advantage of her either. Her cousins were playing with her kitchen set and she loudly said, “excuse me” and squeezed her way in the middle. My girl is no joke. 
I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings. I have a feeling it will be one of the best weeks ever!
I am going to need some earplugs though. 
I think I am losing it:
I keep calling my cat (Nekay) Welansa.
I keep calling my daughter (Welansa) Nekay.
I took Welansa to the sitter without a diaper.
I combed my hair and went to work only to find there was still a roller in my hair.
I have looked franticly for keys that were found in the cat’s toy basket (I put them there)
I have freaked out over loosing a cell phone that I put in the dashboard of my car 15minutes prior
I have gone to a room to look for something and forgot what I was looking for.
I put shoes on Welansa that were the same but different sizes
I have forgotten on many occasions where I parked my car.
I have taken the right train but in the wrong direction.
And finally drum roll please…. I have forgotten my age at times. I literally have to do the math.
Please don’t judge me but continue to love and pray for me. A maid, cook, washer and dryer in my apartment, Idris Elba and 10 additional hours in the day would help too.
Over the past 6 weeks I had two non-envasive, nerve racking, uncomfortable, and at times painful procedures. On both occasions the doctors explained exactly what would happen. However, telling me something and experiencing it for myself is TWO SEPARATE THINGS. During the first procedure I almost told the doctor to stop because I was ready to leave. I had enough. It was then that I thought about my girl. I had to be strong. I had to complete the test. I am a mother now and I have to take care of my business. I am responsible for another human being so I have to make sure that my body is healthy. I pictured her face and kept affirming I can do this, I can do this. Welansa needs me. I can do this.
Today I went for the 2nd test. All was well until the doctor steps in the room and the technician begins to instruct him step by step on what should be done. Are you serious? What the %^&? The people in the room don’t know me. Do they realize I don’t have time for incompetence. I have a little girl at home who needs me and depends on me. She has already lost one mother and I will be d$&^ if she looses another mother. I am ready to get up and tell the medical staff to get me someone who knows what they are doing. Again I am ready to leave. It was then I thought about my girl. I had to be strong. I had to complete the test. I am a mother now and I have to take care of my business. I am responsible for another human being so I have to make sure that my body is healthy. I pictured her face and kept affirming I can do this, I can do this. Welansa needs me. I can do this.
Before I picked my girl up I stopped by the store and bought a Cherry Pepsi, Cheese Doodles, and a Dove candy bar. Hey I deserved a fix. When I picked my girl up from the sitter in true fashion she was excited to see me and started calling “mommy, mommy, mommy”. I knew in that moment she was my strength when I could not be strong for myself.
I am currently reading “The Return” by Sonia Levitin. The book is about an Ethiopian Jewish girl named Desta who flees Ethiopia in order to survive.
Have you ever looked at your little one and asked:
How did you get so stubborn?
Where does your strong will come from?
Where does your determination come from?
Once you read the book you will see it is innate. In order for Desta to survive she had to be stubborn, strong will, and determined.
If you are looking for a good read I recommend the book highly. I don’t know if she makes it. I haven’t finished the book yet and if I did I wouldn’t tell. Reading is fundamental so you can find out for yourself.
Now that my girl has turned two I often wonder where does her stubbornness, strong will, and determination come from? The other day I was speaking with her Godmother, who is also Ethiopian, about her stubbornness. She assured me it was in the blood. I guess she knows from experience.
Innate stubbornness + Terrific Two’s = Lots of love, patience, and a time out chair !
Every time I took Welansa to the doctor’s office she would cry as soon as the doctor walked into the exam room. Thank God we don’t have to go that often. I actually thought I had a super baby. However, I was informed by the doctor that because she is not in daycare she is less susceptible to ear infections and colds.
My friend gave me a play doctor’s kit that included amongst other things a stethoscope, thermometer, needle, and band-aids. And no the needle was not sharp. Two weeks before the visit we started playing with the kit. I demonstrated how Dr. Sheppard would examine her chest and back with the stethoscope and allowed her to practice on me. We also took the kit to the doctor’s office. She looked so cute walking into the office. 
Well it worked. When Dr. Sheppard walked into the exam room she was apprehensive at first but she did not cry !!!!The doctor’s kit REALLY worked or maybe my girl is getting older.
Welansa and I attended our first party in the Hamptons. It started at 3pm so Welansa was able to accompany me. The food, music, and company were fabulous.
The weekends are reserved for me and my girl. Rarely are we apart on the weekends. During the week I average about 3 ½ hours a day with her. There is no way in the world I am leaving my girl on the weekends.
My girl knows when it is Saturday or Sunday. Saturday morning she woke up and said “mommy I want pancakes”. I only make pancakes on the weekends and when we visit my mother on the weekends she starts to climb up in my arms, which does not happen during the week. The funny part is, Monday through Friday when I drop her off at my mom’s she gives my mother her news paper, kisses me three times (the Ethiopian way), says “I love you”, closes the door, and yells upstairs to her Auntie. Rarely does she shed a tear.
The party was hosted by Huey sisters. 
Welansa is so friendly. Of course she found a playmate.
Me and the Birthday Girl.
Me and My Girl.
According to the New York Times Rain Rage does exist.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/20/nyregion/20rain.html
Today is June 26th and it has rain 22-23 days in New York. At this point I have lost track. It is driving me crazy!!!! I love being outdoors and miss taking Welansa to the park after work. We made it to the park yesterday. But guess what? It is raining again today!!!!! She has added some new words to her vocabulary (wet, umbrella, cloudy, rainy) so I guess there is some good in this.
Welansa is still in good spirits and lovin her green rain boots.
I will take Welensa to visit my family in Tulsa, OK sometime next year. I was joking with my family when I said I have no idea what we are going to do there. They assured me that there are lots of things to do. Don’t let the name fool you. My inner voice also reminded me to teach Welansa that no matter where she is, she can have a great time if she chooses. Furthermore, spending time with family is always fun and that right there is enough in itself. 
you need in a companion when you are traveling 6976 miles to meet your daughter for the first time. It was my brother who sat by my side when Welansa was placed in my arms and my life changed forever.
I was apprehensive about starting a blog because writing was never my favorite subject. However, I am going to give the blogging thing a try. I figure the more I write the better I will get. Furthermore, being a single mom has limited the amount of time I have to connect with family and friends. I hope this blog will answer the most common questions these days:
"How is Welansa?"
"How is it being a single mom?"
"How do you do it all?"
"When can I see some new pictures?"
I have a section on the blog called "Let's Learn Amharic". I am learning Amharic for two reasons. REDEMPTION (I took Spanish in Junior High School and no matter how hard I tried I could barely pass the class) and to preserve Welansa's Ethiopian culture. I will try to update the words weekly.
I also have a section on the blog called "What's on My Bookshelf". I read all types of books. However, lately I have been drawn to books about Ethiopia and adoption. I like learning about Ethiopian history and the people, while enjoying an interesting story line.
Well that was my first post. That wasn't too bad. I might learn to like this.
