September 11th

Last night as I kissed my girl good night I held her tighter and longer than usual. All the while stating, “life is such a gift”. Although, I know this to be true I often forget and automatically assume that there will always be a tomorrow night. But yesterday night was different because it was the eve of the World Trade Center bombing.

I am sure every person was effected in some way or another. Fortunately for me I arrived early because I had a doctors appointment and needed to leave early. I remember when a co-worker told me a plane had flew into the World Trade Center. I went to the café area to watch the television.

As a watched the TV I realized that in the distance I could actually see the World Trade Center on fire. I could not believe me eyes. So I decided to go to the sundeck area to confirm that what I saw was actually true. As I stood on the sundeck in disbelief I saw what I thought was an airplane for the local TV station accidentally fly into the other building. Little did I know it was no accident nor was it an airplane seeking coverage for the news. It was indeed the 2nd plane going into another building.

One of my co-workers started to hyperventilate because her children attended a school in the area. She had no idea if they were safe or not. Now that I am a parent I can imagine how she felt. My family was frantic and unable to reach me on my cell phone and in my office. The office phone would not work for three months after the tragedy and mass transportation was shut down temporarily.

My job was set up as a one of triage areas for the injured and the sky rink area was to serve as a morgue. However, the triage and sky rink would never be used because there were very little survivors. I realized that the best place for me would be home with my family. I began the 4-hour walk with a co-worker I met 2 weeks ago. This co-worker is now considered my sister and one of my best friends. We always say it was the tragedy of the World Trade Center and the love of Calypso music that brought us together.

As we exited the building I remember seeing hundreds of people walking along the West Side Highway. Each and every person looking like they were in a daze. As we walked home I remember hearing airplanes flying above ducking down in fear. We had no idea if it was another airplane that had come to attack. As we got closer to the Brooklyn Bridge we could really see the devastation that occurred.



Thank God I did not have to walk the entire way home. I was able to get the train after I crossed the bridge. I headed toward the parking lot to pick up my car and found my sister waiting for me. I did not say a word. I broke down in her arms and began to sob. It was the first time I allowed myself to feel my emotions. At the end of the day I had lots of blisters on my feet. But I could not complain. I still had life and I had my family.

I was not prepared to deal with what would happen in the next coming days and months. We did manage to get one working phone in the office. I wish we had no phone service at all because then I would not have to deal with reality.
I started receiving telephone calls from families who had lost loved ones at Ground Zero and so they needed to cancel their membership. All of “those” types of calls were transferred directly to me. My staff did not feel equipped to deal with the calls. As the Director I had no choice, I received a quick lesson in grief counseling.

Business was extremely slow, pay increases were frozen, and one of my staff members (Sam) who was in the Reserves was put on active duty. I am happy to report that Sam is home safe and we have continued to work together for the past 5 years. For me the sacrifices and the effects were inconvenient at times but I refused to complain. I still have life, all of my family and my friends. I was one of the lucky ones. Thousand of people lost mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and friends. I can’t imagine how they felt.

How ironic that I would have a nightmare last night. I had a dream someone came through my back door and took Welansa out of her crib while she was sleeping. When I went to check on here she was gone. I started screaming her name. It felt so real and the feelings so intense. And then I was saved by my alarm clock. It was in fact a dream. I went to her room and there she was. It was just a dream. My child my loved one was there when I woke up this morning. However, it has been a true nightmare for others. When they wake up their child, their loved one is not be there.

So on this day and everyday after I will promise to hold Welansa a little tighter a little longer. To slow down and realize that everyday I see her it is a gift. And the next time that I complain that she talks too much for a two year old I will stop and be grateful that I can hear her voice.