My Girl Gives me Strength

Over the past 6 weeks I had two non-envasive, nerve racking, uncomfortable, and at times painful procedures. On both occasions the doctors explained exactly what would happen. However, telling me something and experiencing it for myself is TWO SEPARATE THINGS. During the first procedure I almost told the doctor to stop because I was ready to leave. I had enough. It was then that I thought about my girl. I had to be strong. I had to complete the test. I am a mother now and I have to take care of my business. I am responsible for another human being so I have to make sure that my body is healthy. I pictured her face and kept affirming I can do this, I can do this. Welansa needs me. I can do this.

Today I went for the 2nd test. All was well until the doctor steps in the room and the technician begins to instruct him step by step on what should be done. Are you serious? What the %^&? The people in the room don’t know me. Do they realize I don’t have time for incompetence. I have a little girl at home who needs me and depends on me. She has already lost one mother and I will be d$&^ if she looses another mother. I am ready to get up and tell the medical staff to get me someone who knows what they are doing. Again I am ready to leave. It was then I thought about my girl. I had to be strong. I had to complete the test. I am a mother now and I have to take care of my business. I am responsible for another human being so I have to make sure that my body is healthy. I pictured her face and kept affirming I can do this, I can do this. Welansa needs me. I can do this.

Before I picked my girl up I stopped by the store and bought a Cherry Pepsi, Cheese Doodles, and a Dove candy bar. Hey I deserved a fix. When I picked my girl up from the sitter in true fashion she was excited to see me and started calling “mommy, mommy, mommy”. I knew in that moment she was my strength when I could not be strong for myself.